Concrete Angel

Hey, it's already the end of October and less than 3 months, we'll end 2011. So, lately I thought about my life and what I've done for the past 16 years of my life. When I thought about stupid mistakes I've done, about heartaches I've been through, about people that left me behind, about the unfortunate accidents I've felt, I thought that my life sucks. Sometimes, I really wanted to have others' life, the one that likely, have no problem. The one that full of success, the one that seems like never suffer any accidents or heartaches or even mistakes. An incident changes my point of view fully. My mom just got home from my uncle's home and she told me that my aunt has suffered breast cancer for 4 months. She said that my aunt was already bald, really skinny, and said that her life is worthless. My aunt is already hopeless about her disease and her life. This makes me think really much about how I was really ungrateful about my life that much much better than my aunt's life. The life we've felt ungrateful for, maybe is the life others want to have.

Maybe you're confused what's the relation of the title and this post. Well, "Concrete Angel" is a song by Martina McBride about a girl, also a victim of rape at her really young age. She still goes to school with heavy burden on her shoulder, that no one knows. This make me think about how I really ungrateful when I grumble about school, which I still could get through without heavy burden like the girl does. This song teaches me about our problem is not the heaviest one. Even when we're in trouble, we still can give thanks for other things we have.

Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place where she's loved
Concrete angel

- Martina McBride, "Concrete Angel"

Sebelas Patriot

Semua hal ada dalam sepak bola
Terompet memekakkan, kembang api yang ditembakkan,
api suar yang dilambai-lambaikan dari atas pagar pembatas oleh lelaki kurus tak berbaju itu
adalah perayaan kegembiraan.
Bendera raksasa yang berkibar-kibar itu
adalah psikologi.
Mars penyemangat yang gegap gempita
adalah seni.
Orang-orang yang duduk di podium kehormatan
di tempat paling nyaman menonton bola,
adalah politik.
Orang-orang berdasi yang sibuk dengan telepon genggamnya
di belakang jajaran politisi itu,
adalah bisnis.
Lelaki kurus tadi,
yang sehari-hari berdagang asong di gerbong kereta listrik Bogor-Jakarta,
menabung lama demi membeli tiket menonton PSSI
lalu berteriak mendukung PSSI sampai habis suaranya,
hingga peluit panjang dibunyikan,
adalah keikhlasan.
Para pemain menunduk untuk berdoa,
adalah agama.
Penjaga gawang memeluk tiang gawang sebelum bertanding,
adalah budaya.
Ratusan moncong kamera yang membidik lapangan,
adalah sejarah.
Ayah yang membawa anak-anaknya untuk menonton bola,
adalah cinta.
Bocah-bocah murid SD Inpres di pinggiran Bekasi,
yang patungan untuk menyewa angkot,
berdesak-desakan di dalam mobil omprengan demi  mendukung PSSI,
adalah patriotisme.
Catatan skor pada papan elektronik raksasa,
yang ditatap dengan perasaan senang yang meluap-luap
atau kecemasan yang tak terperikan
adalah sastra yang tak ada bandingnya. 

-Andrea Hirata, Sebelas Patriot

You Get It Just To Lose It

Judul post gue kali ini (setelah sekian lama) agak pesimis ya? Well, actually it doesn't. It's not pessimistic but it's the fact, like it or not. Semua yang lo punya di dunia ini, materi atau apapun itu pasti suatu saat nanti akan lo lepas juga. Jadi apa kalo namanya bukan get it to lose it? Sebenernya gue kepikiran buat nulis tentang ini gara-gara hp gue (yang baru berumur 3 bulanan-an) ilang. :"( Dan hp gue itu adalah pengganti dari hp gue yang sebelumnya ilang juga. Nyesek? Banget. Lemes? Iya. Takut dimarahin? Efek otomatis. Kata orang-orang sih kalau masih rejeki gue pasti bakal balik lagi ke gue, kalau kata papanya miiko di komik miiko yang baru gue baca nih: benda yang hilang itu hilang bersama kesialan pemiliknya. Gatau sih bener apa ga, tapi lumayan lah buat penghibur. #curcol

Setelah gue renungkan lagi #etsah, ternyata bukan cuma hp gue itu doang yang bisa ilang. Semua barang yang lo punya sekarang saat ini, bahkan pacar lo, temen lo, sukses yang udah lo raih, anything around you, you name it, someday they're all will be gone. Agak serem ya? Bukannya ngajak untuk mikir pesimis atau menggalau nih, tapi all I wanna say is: selagi mereka- orang-orang yang lo sayang itu masih ada, treat them well like tomorrow is your last day. Selagi barang-barang lo dan fasilitas yang ada masih bisa lo nikmati, use them wisely. Dunia masih berputar, yang miskin bisa kaya dan yang berkecukupan bisa jatuh miskin. Kalau lo ada kesempatan untuk meraih cita-cita lo dan hal-hal positif, kenapa ga ambil kesempatan itu? Ga ada salahnya kan? Segitu dulu penggalauan dan uneg-uneg gue. Tschuss!

A Little Bit Stronger

Every single morning, I open my eyes

Get up from my bed, starting a new day

Hope day by day life will be a little bit better

Yeah, hoping

No one says that it is going to be better.

Went to school, hanging out with friends

Laughing at someone's joke, always the same

No one really know about me

I'm broken inside

Praying, trying to heal the wound inside

Yeah, it's starting to get better

Finally I'm not as vulnerable as I used to

Every time my feet could finally walk again, someone pushes me from behind

Falling, tearing apart

Sinking to the sea of hatred and falsity

Buried under the ground with nobody hear me crying for help

Feeling dumb, feeling rejected, feeling ugly

Feeling useless and unwanted

Pawing the ground, hoping for lights

Still, no lights come through

Butterfly

My piano teacher asked me to play F.Chopin- Etude op.25 no.9: "Butterfly". Then I do a little research about it and I found this video.



Fuck yea.

Harreh Pottah

After watching Harry Potter Deathly Hallows pt.2, I'm soooooooo sad that this Harry Potter journey has came to the very end of it :"""( Yet, I'm so jealous of these things:

Of the way Ron looks at Hermione

Of how much and how true Snape loved Lily

Of how much Ron and Harry understood each other

Of how Luna never gave a fuck what someone thought of her

Of how brave Neville truly is

And of how strong and unbreakable their friendship is

Source: tumblr. So damn true.